A Very Merry SecretClan Christmas Special
by Autumn Leaf Ninja
Summary: The zany, goofy SecretClan cats are having a very special Christmas celebration this year!


It was a typical day in SecretClan, and the camp was as busy as ever. Darkstar was asleep, Icefeather and Lionpaw were going around asking other cats which of them had a longer tail, Cherrypaw was shouting to the cat directly in front of her, Kestrelpaw was complaining that the first part of her name was uncommon to Sweetpaw and Lilypaw, who were feigning interest, Shadepaw, Sparrowpaw, Jaypaw, Sunpaw, Buzzardpaw, Briarpaw, Webpaw and Lichenpaw were sharing tongues while listening to Scarletpaw and Leafpaw's heated debate over what the most fabulous pelt color was, and Shellpaw, Larkpaw, Bramblepaw and Brackenpaw were chilling with Mistypaw, who was blabbering on about how fantastic horses are. This was all _perfectly_ normal for the SecretClan cats.

"Bramblepaw," shouted Ferretpaw, twirling over to her friend. "Want to go flying? I want to see who swallows the most bugs!" Once again, this was all _perfectly_ normal for the SecretClan cats.

When Darkstar finally woke up, got off her rear end, and left her den to address the Clan, every cat shut up and stared at her. Cloudstrike tried to step back into the warriors' den as soon as her leader was in sight, but Darkstar saw her and glared ferociously. "Don't move from where you are," Darkstar ordered. The Clan's only warrior froze. "Fools, listen up. I'm going to tell you what to do now."

Ferretpaw groaned. "She always tells us what to do," she muttered.

"FOOL!" Darkstar's voice resounded about the clearing. "I will banish you from the Clan for the rest of the day if you don't listen to me!"

Icefeather joined her leader. "Follow the rules, everyone," the medicine cat meowed. "If you don't, you'll end up in EvilClan."

The cats gasped in shock. Kestrelpaw called out, "There's an EvilClan? I want to join!"

Every other cat stared at her like she was a lunatic. They decided she was and moved on with their lives.

"Now that we're done with that," Darkstar continued, her voice taking on a more casual tone, "it's time to organize the daily whatnots. Icefeather, you're in charge of training the apprentices today. Meanwhile, I'll be taking a very long nap."

"Wait, I'm in charge of training the apprentices today?" Icefeather echoed in disbelief.

"Yep, pretty much," the SecretClan leader said, returning to her den.

"Okay, well, we have one warrior and no mentors," Icefeather pointed out. "We'll have to improvise. Leafpaw," she called, "you're in charge of Shadepaw, Oakpaw, and Scarletpaw. Try not to murder each other." She narrowed her eyes at the four apprentices. "Leafpaw, promise me that you'll at least _try_ to control your anger issues."

Leafpaw narrowed her eyes. "I will make no such promises."

Icefeather sighed and rolled her eyes. "If you fight, I'll banish your group to EvilClan for a day."

Leafpaw stuck her tongue out at the other she-cat. "Follow me, little girls," she said to her group, which followed her as they left camp. The other cats wondered what a girl was. Oakpaw had a strange feeling that whatever it was, he wasn't one.

"Jaypaw, you're in charge of Cherrypaw, Ferretpaw, and Kestrelpaw," Icefeather continued.

"**I WANT TO GO WITH JAYPAW!**" Webpaw shouted.

Icefeather sighed, "Fine. Go ahead."

The group of apprentices made a lot of noise as they were leaving. "Do you know what crocheting is?" Ferretpaw asked over Cherrypaw's loud chanting of "I HANG OUT WITH ACTORS!"

"**Right, because cats are **_**totally**_** supposed to know what crocheting and actors are,**" Jaypaw muttered sarcastically. "**Thanks for giving me the group that makes sense, Icefeather.**"

"I'm trying to revive the prefix 'Kestrel'," Kestrelpaw mewed.

"**Sure, cats know what the word 'prefix' means, too,**" Jaypaw snorted. "**That **_**also **_**makes sense!**"

Once they were gone, Icefeather decided that she was going to throw a party instead of sorting the remaining cats into groups. "Now that _they're_ gone, let's celebrate!" she said.

The other cats chattered excitedly. They didn't know _what_ to celebrate, though. It was then that Darkstar came out of her den, in which she was unable to nap because of the noise from the rest of the cats, and announced, "It's Christmas!"

"It is?" Starlingpaw puzzled. "Wasn't that, I don't know, four moons ago?"

"Shut up!" Darkstar snapped. "I said it's Christmas, so it _is_!" No cat questioned their leader's judgment. Then the Clan leader started to fail-dance. So that Darkstar didn't look like a fool in front of her awesome Clan, Icefeather fail-danced awkwardly beside her.

Soon every cat joined in on the awkward fail-dancing. Mistypaw, Featherpaw, Sparrowpaw and Eaglepaw worked together to invent an oven and baked a Christmas cake for every cat to share. However, the cake had death berries in it "by accident" and about ten cats ended up on the floor – and not because they were tired from dancing too much.

Eventually, the apprentices that had been sent out returned to camp and saw that they had been missing out on an awful party. Naturally, they were upset. Who wants to miss an awful party? They're the best. So the two groups of apprentices complained and argued in a mess of aggression, boldface, and caps lock.

After it went on for a while, Darkstar said, "You fools are banished for a week!"

Jaypaw rolled her eyes and muttered, "**Right, because cats **_**totally**_** know how long a week is. It's a quarter-moon, smart ones.**"

"**JAYPAW'S RIGHT!**" Webpaw shouted from her spot beside the other she-cat. Leafpaw was in a mischievous mood, so she quickly found mistletoe and dangled it between their heads. Every cat watched awkwardly and put on blank expressions. Then Webpaw hugged Jaypaw awkwardly and glared at Leafpaw for making it even more awkward.

"**Right, because cats **_**totally**_** know what a hug and the purpose of mistletoe are,**" Jaypaw muttered sarcastically.

To lighten the mood, Darkstar called, "Okay, you're not banished anymore. Let's _**DANCE!**_" And then every SecretClan cat fail-danced horribly. "Oh, and merry Christmas to all, and have a great new year, too!"

And then Jaypaw muttered, "**Right, because Christmas and New Year's are **_**totally**_** celebrations for cats, too.**"

**THE END!**

**Author's Note:**

**Well, that concludes my tribute to SecretClan! :') Evidently, I didn't include all of our members because that would make this one-shot endless, so… yeah. :) This "SecretClan Christmas Special", as I'm calling it, is my gift to SecretClan for the holidays. :) It's also the first parody I've ever completed, so I'm sorry if you expected it to be funnier. :/ Well, I tried! YAY! :) SecretClan members, you know which cat you are. If you don't, take another look at our "Members List" thread. :)**

**I hope everyone has the best holiday season ever this year, and I hope you liked it! :) Well, let me know what you think! :)**


End file.
